Magic Mushroom Ride
I must say, I was a little apprehensive about posting an adventure that consists of ingesting magic mushrooms. But then again, they are legal in many third world countries, including Indonesia, and they are everywhere here. You can’t much walk down a street without seeing some sort of poster or advertisement in a window enticing locals and tourists alike to take magic mushrooms. Sarah really wanted to experience them. Me, I’ve taken them several times, mostly in high school and college so I know exactly what to expect. Writing about “tripping” on magic mushrooms is tricky – everything is interesting and funny to the person who eats them, but it’s often all about nothing. The simplest things can make you have a massive laughing attack, and often that simple thing is in fact nothing short of looking at the branch of a tree. So this may be boring for you, the reader, but I can assure you, it wasn’t boring for us.
Michelle, Silas, Sarah and I walked down dark alleyways in the late evening. As we hunted for the alley with mostly mushroom shops Michelle kept saying, “I know it’s here somewhere.” We finally found the area she was familiar with and we asked a shop-keeper, “mushrooms?” Before we knew it he had a paper bag containing numerous small plastic baggies – each filled with several grams of shrooms. The baggies were then filled with air and tied shut at the top like what you’d see with a bag holding goldfish. We let him know that we didn’t want to buy them tonight, but we just wanted to see what they looked like. I’ve seen them enough to know that you want clean ones with closed mushroom caps and minimal stems. The caps are where the powerful natural active ingredient psylocybin resides. In nature, magic mushrooms grow from cow shit after a strong rain and early sun, but as I understand, they can be grown inside in a controlled environment relatively easily. I have no idea how these mushrooms grow, but I don’t much care either way.
We gave up on our alley vendor, I just didn’t like the way the shooms looked, but not before getting a price; roughly $10 a bag. We determined that I needed two bags and Sarah only needed one. On our way home, on the main drag along the beach and inside an open air shopping area, at the same counter as a licensed currency exchanger we found Marti – he would be our mushroom connection for the trip. His mushrooms had beautiful closed caps, few stems, and he had a blender at the counter where he mixed them with a red Fantana-like juice drink to make magic mushroom shakes. He started at $20 per bag, but after some hard core haggling, I was able to get him down to and acceptable $10 per bag. We assured him that we would return tomorrow afternoon to buy 3 bags from him at the agreed upon price. For the next day, Sarah and I would laugh and giggle at the simplest things thinking what it will be like on magic mushrooms.
The following day, we decided to do it right, so we ate a late lunch in order to have a relatively empty stomach around dinner time. We determined that around 7 or 8pm would be the perfect time. Late afternoon, as we hung out on our front porch, a beautiful girl and her mom walked by. Clearly they were Australian by the sound of their accents, but the daughter looked everything but Australian with darkened olive oil skin and straight dark brown hair. She was beautiful. We’d seen them earlier, and I commented how cute she was, but Sarah didn’t seem to agree with me. This time she was dressed up in a tight white top and sarong like skirt on her way out with “mum.” Sarah commented, “wow, she IS hot!” I couldn’t agree more! We realized that they probably thought Sarah and I were married, or at least boyfriend/girlfriend, since we’re staying in the same room. She looked pretty young, probably around 30, but that doesn’t change anything – she was still hot and had a friendly way about her as we caught eyes and made small talk each time she walked by. More on the hot Auzzie girl later…
So the time finally came for Sarah and I to make the trip to the magic mushroom counter and start our adventure. It almost felt like we were shrooming just thinking about it…
Marti’s Magic Mushroom Counter
Marti didn’t recognize me at first until I reminded him of our deal – $10 a bag. He reluctantly agreed to honor it, and starting mixing up Sarah’s shake. As he did, I took my two bags and made mock mushroom ear-rings for a photo opportunity – we both laughed with anticipation.
Magic Mushroom Earrings
Marti carefully blended each concoction as to not lose any precious matter along the sides and top of the blender. After mixing it up, he’d take more Fantana and swoosh it around the sides and top pouring it carefully into a clear plastic cup. He then meticulously topped it off with a lid and straw, and we delicately transported them home to our hotel ice box.
Marti Blending Shakes
After showering and changing, we were ready. Sarah looked at me with apprehension as I sucked down my entire drink in a few strong pulls on the straw. “Too late now” I exclaimed as Sarah said “shit!” realizing she too would have to drink hers. She attempted to drink only half, but then realized that she drank more than half. She’d save the rest for later if everything went smoothly. Aside from a slight panic attack as they started to kick in, everything went smoothly and she’d finished her entire shake throughout our adventure…
Sarah was blow drying her hair so I walked over to say hi to Michelle and Silas whilst I waited for the shrooms to kick in. Michelle asked if I had eaten them yet, and upon my reply she began fluidly waving her arms up and down saying, wooooo oooooo ooooooo – and dancing around like I was going to hallucinate and freak out. I simply looked at her and thought to myself – REALLY? It wasn’t like that at all, and probably wouldn’t be for the trip. I don’t really hallucinate on shrooms, they just give me really heightened exaggerated senses and make everything uncontrollably funny – tonight would be no exception.
As Michelle told me about the place she wants to buy in Uluwatu, I started feeling the shrooms take effect. I noticed that as I stood there listening to her, I began looking out the corner of my eyes… then my head would follow – almost as one would do if they were suspicious of something in the corner. However, the feeling wasn’t suspicious it was more curious. I began to feel my senses heighten as my attention started focusing on things that normally I would be filtered out. Background sounds began to become more apparent, colors brighter, textures more detailed, and I notice the sensitivity of my skin, especially my head and arms. If felt really good to run my fingers through my hair or lightly brush them along my arms. I would touch my skin and just… smile. Curious if Sarah was experiencing the same, I walked back to the room. Hey Sarah! As I walked in she was brushing her teeth. She turned and looked at me with this big grin on her face. I have no idea how long she had been brushing her teeth but I suspect it was much longer than normal. Even as she had her toothbrush in her mouth brushing her teeth back and forth, her smile reached ear to ear. She later told me I should try brushing my teeth because it was so amazing!
When I was on my way to the room, I heard giggling and laughing from the bushes nearby. Turns out the hot Auzzie girl and her “mum” were trying to save a wild cat deep in the bushes that had been trapped in a wild cat trap by the grounds-keepers.
“Animal Planet” Wild Cat Bushes
My immediate thought was shit! Not now! I really wanted to introduce myself to the hot Auzzie, and realizing that this may be the only moment I have, I walked over to see what all the commotion was about. Her mom tip toed into the bushes as the daughter was the lookout. It was dark, and seeing into the bushes was difficult at best. I went over, offered to help, and the Auzzie girl and I both turned and watched “mum” tip-toeing towards the cage like it was a venomous snake. She was moving bushes and branches with her hands, and crouching down as if it was some sort of wild safari. They both starting laughing hysterically at mums fear of the cat as she yelled out in a whisper with a thick Australian accent, “feck! Eye’ve bean wuaching tay much aynimal play-net!!!” Both the hot Auzzie and I nearly lost it with laughter – her because it was a funny comment, and me because, well, I was really starting to shroom now.
It was as if we were breaking into the hotel – I functioned as the lookout, and the girl and her mum tried to set the cat free. When they gave up, I had a bright idea, literally. I rushed to the room, grabbed Sarah and my backpacking headlamp, and went into the bush myself. Now the three girls were lookouts as I tried to figure out how the hell to open the cage. It was actually a pretty heavy duty trap and I couldn’t figure out how to open it. As I put pressure on the springed door, the cat let out a loud growl, followed by a hissing and spitting sound. I just about fell off of my feet backwards – half of me was petrified, and the other half was hysterically laughing as I stumbled backwards and nearly landed on my ass. Then I thought, “what the hell am I going to do if he does get out?” By his reaction I could imagine the cat thinking I was trying to kill it rather than set it free. I could only imagine it wildly attacking me – rolling on the ground with a fricken’ cat clawing, scratching, and biting my face. I went through several moments of realization when I looked into it’s evil eyes as it cowered angrily in the corner of the cage. Now it was hissing madly. I said to myself, “what the fuck am I doing!?”
Reluctantly, I emerged from the bush empty handed with my headlight beaming from my head like a coal miner. I tried to be smooth and contain my laughter as introduced Sarah and I to the hot Auzzie, April, and her mum. I thought to myself in my insecure mushroom-tripping state of mind as I nearly busted out in laugher – “yea, April and I will probably never happen now…”
When Sarah and I returned to the front porch of our room, I sat staring intensely at the trees and plants surrounding us. The trees were wrapped in vine roots and the plants were so surreal looking. The vines almost looked like snakes, but not once was I scared, just curious.
Snake Like Vines in the Trees
Trippy Vines with Auras – Actually it’s just smoke!
Trippin’ on Tree Roots
Sarah giggled and just said, “plastic, they all look like plastic.” It was if we were inside some sort of Alice and Wonderland movie. Sarah then focused her attention to the mosquitos that are apparently over-attracted to her sweet Swiss skin. She then asked me, afraid that she may contract some sort of malaria, “how far can mosquitos fly?” She googled the subject on her phone. Based on the results she was more than surprised that she wasn’t the first to be curious on the subject. Evidently others have googled not only how far can mosquitos fly, but how high can they fly, and even how high can they jump! Again we laughed uncontrollably as Sarah attempted to talk to the mosquitos to find out what kind they were. “Hello Mr. Mosquito, what kind of mosquito ARE you?”
I moved to the bench where Sarah sat, and we talked about life… and mosquitos. As we did, I heard a strange mooing-like sound right next to my head. I turned only to see the round fat face of a two year old asian boy leaning around the divider separating our porch from the room next door. His face was only about a foot from mine. As I looked over my shoulder (first my eyes and then my head) to see what the strange sound was, I screamed in fear and jumped about 10 feet. I ran towards the front door of our room before I realized that it was just a child. It scared the shit out of me – again, we both laughed uncontrollably. This laughing sequence would repeat itself many times throughout the evening.
We were waiting for Michelle and Silas to come walking over to our room – they both knew we were shrooming. Sure enough, as predicted, here comes Michelle waving her arms and singing oooooooo, oooooo, as if it were haloween. REALLY? They wanted to go out front to the tequila bar -I was a bit apprehensive to go be around people and sit in a restaurant, but Sarah wanted to go so I agreed. I spent the next hour or two having laughing attacks as we people watched along the main strip and listened to an asian hard rock band. I got to the point where I couldn’t even look at the girls without laughing so hard that I had a steady stream of tears running down my face.
Michelle Freaking Me Out
Silas ordered a pizza, wondering how big it would be. When it came, the look on his face was priceless – it looked like a baked puff pastry shaped like a half pizza (more of a calzone) with all the meat and sauce on the inside – he looked at it and replied in a thick New Zealand accent that’s very difficult to understand, “what the fuck is that mate?” Again, I laughed uncontrollably. You have to understand, Silas looks typically outback Australian, although he’s from New Zealand. He’s a great guy with a heart of gold.
When the music was just too loud and obnoxious for too long, we decided to head out to a bar. We walked for a quarter mile before Michelle insisted on a cab. Everyone but her wanted to walk, and she finally just flagged one down and we all got in by default. The ride was beyond hilarious as Michelle entertained us all from the front seat – waving her arms as she spoke in a thick Auzzie accent about gibberish – telling the driver that I was looking for some giggie-giggy, whatever that means. She was hammered after drinking mohitos, and swore that one of us put mushrooms in her drink – I think she had a typical “contact high.” When someone is surrounded by others who are on shrooms – sometimes it seems contagious. Michelle caught it for sure…
We ended up at Surfers Bar near ground zero, where we sat at the bar-top facing the sidewalk. We watched Silas sitting on a barstool – his view of the band was blocked squarely by a tree as he just sat there staring at the tree. I politely grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around so he was facing us instead of the tree. Michelle just bounced off the walls talking to surfers at the table next to us while she wrapped herself in vines from the tree in front of Silas. At one point she stood up and a ring on her finger snagged on her white netted shorts squarely on her left ass cheek. She wiggled and wormed around trying to unhook it, but her hand was permanently fixed to her bum as she wiggled around – she couldn’t remove it. I helped set her free, and again laughed uncontrollably. Sarah then took Michelle for a walk outside, and they ended up on the back of motor scooters – Sarah later admitted that she felt like she was flying down the road as she sat on the back of the scooter – again laughing uncontrollably. This sort of thing went on and on throughout the evening.
Michelle was completely hammered from drinking. She soon tired and wanted to leave. A surfer from California named Tyler whom we met earlier offered her a ride home on his scooter. That was the last we saw of her or Tyler for the evening. Silas followed not far behind, while Sarah and I made friends with a couple from Chicago – Alicia and John. We all hit it off and the four of us headed over to a live Karaoke bar – phenomenal musicians inviting people to come sing with them for $5 U.S. We enjoyed the music as we finally came down from the mushrooms. When they quit around 2:30am we went to the Sky Bar Discotheque. I ended up pole dancing on one of the stages and Alicia soon followed, dancing with me and swinging on the pole like a couple of monkeys.
John and Alicia from Chicago
Pole Dancing with Alicia
On Stage at the Sky Bar
We all danced like fools. We were interrupted periodically by a group of young asian guys who wanted picture after picture with us. One of them offered me a half full beer – it took me a second to realize I already drank mine, and it took me until the next day to realize there was a good chance that it was drugged – although I didn’t really consider that it may be drugged at the time. Something just didn’t seem right when he offered it to me and it was a good thing my intuition kicked in. We danced our asses off until we closed that place around 4:00am.
Now I was tired and ready for sleep. Sarah the “Trouble Maker” was still in the mood to party, so I walked home alone down the dark alleyways and she stayed. She let herself in sometime around 6am. What a fun night!!!!